you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
