wrigley field is MILF paradise
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
