My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
