ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
