He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
