3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
just tell him i said nine months
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
