discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize