i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you would pick up someone in the library
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
