so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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