Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She bit a glass in half.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
