i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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