Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
