Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
