is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize