You don't have asthma, your pregnant
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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