im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
