Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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