At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
