Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
