So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
