That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize