I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
