Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
