So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
