i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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