uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
