one two three fourrrrnication!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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