Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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