that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
