carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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