i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
