Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize