Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
