There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize