i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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