Need sex. Gaining weight.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
