stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My life is pants optional.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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