Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
did i just pee glitter
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