I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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