After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
