Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
They are going to name an STD after you.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
