Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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