That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
