Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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