why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize