i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
