Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
