Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
