Taylor Swift is so right about you.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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