I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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