so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
