Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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