David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
That's when you crack a 10am beer
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
