its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
