sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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