Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
