She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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