At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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